He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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