i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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