I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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