Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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