im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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