Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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