put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My hand turned me down
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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