my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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