Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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