grandma shit on top of the toilet
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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