Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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