Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
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Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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