oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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