I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize