I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize