I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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