i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is the high leading the old right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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