I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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