you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
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I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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