i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hell yes lets make some ravioli
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize