Who did Billy Mays play for?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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