I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize