Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
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I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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