So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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