So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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