why didn't you poke me back
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize