I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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