I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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