My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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