I'm sorry my penis didn't work
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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