she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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