The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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