More tranny stories later!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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