I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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