Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize