the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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