Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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