I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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