nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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