woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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