Whod you bang
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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