I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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