Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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