I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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