im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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