She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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