we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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