I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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