i jhust puked up my retainher.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Drake has all the answers
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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