you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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